


Introductions

by star_named_andy



Series: Paws-itivity [6]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Animal Transformation, BardXThranduil, Barduil - Freeform, Curses, M/M, cat!Bard, thranduilxbard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-23
Updated: 2015-08-23
Packaged: 2018-04-16 17:50:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4634592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/star_named_andy/pseuds/star_named_andy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He’s a half human, half cat who was in the wrong place at the wrong time and got cursed by a dragon. It could be worse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Introductions

**Author's Note:**

> (Disclaimer: I do not own the Hobbit, Lord of the Rings, or any of its characters or content.)

Thranduil’s eyes had been only slightly open as he first woke; they still drifted shut every few moments out of tiredness, but as he became clearly conscious and identified the faint noise tickling his ears, his eyes snapped fully open and stayed that way. He sat up abruptly, his hair flying around him. Panic set his heart at a fast pace as last night’s memories flooding back all at once. Bard’s heavy purr-like breathes beside him assured him none of it had been a dream. The brunette looked wonderfully at peace in his deep sleep, his features calm and his ear twitching as Legolas’ voice drew nearer in the hall.

“Wake up!” Thranduil beckoned hushedly close to Bard’s ear, which twitched as breath brushed onto it.

Thranduil would have yelled in franticness, but didn’t want to attract any attention. He shook Bard’s shoulder vigorously and the moonie’s lids flicked open right away. He and his dark, furry ears were upright in a flash, fully alert, and his gaze sticking to Thranduil with sharp worry.

“What’s wrong?” he asked lowly, and the tone would have startled Thranduil if he weren’t so focused on his son’s presence in the house.

Before Thranduil could provide any explanation, Bard’s head spun toward the door a split second before a knock came.

“Dad? Are you in there?” Legolas called.

Thranduil panicked and threw the loose fitted comforter on the bed over Bard’s head and pushed him down onto the mattress.

“ACKGH! What are you doing?!” Bard exclaimed loudly with a hiss and he fought against the blonde from beneath the cover. Thranduil lunged onto the struggling body and pinned his hands to the ends of the cover to keep Bard enclosed inside the fabric. The brunette’s arms and legs still swung with force in hopes of finding an end to the blanket, but Thranduil had the clear advantage. The blonde could feel Bard trying to scratch at him and he hurriedly lifted one of his palms to stick it over Bard’s face. As he felt a nose, he knew he was in the right area and slid his hand down to cup it over Bard’s babbling mouth.

“Shh, be quiet, just be quiet!” Thranduil whispered harshly and the door came flying open.

Thranduil situated himself on top of the wiggling lump under his comforter into a very casual position and ran his fingers back through his hair as he looked at his son with nothing suspicious hiding in his gaze whatsoever. Legolas looked around the room curiously.

“Were you talking to someone?” he inquired.

“Just a pesky phone call. Work never leaves me.” Thranduil lied. “You’re home.” He spoke and Legolas nodded slowly, a brow arched.

“And so are you. I thought you said you were going out with someone today?”

“Yes, I did. That’s not until later this evening.”

“It’s well past one o’clock. I figured you’d at least be up. Is everything alright? You never sleep so late.”

“Oh, yeah, everything’s fine.” Thranduil sighed with a nonchalant wave of his hand. He was relieved he still had plenty of time before his outing with the young, sweet Meludir, _if_ he went out at all. He still had Bard to worry about.

“You’re going out?!” Bard’s voice rose away from the protective shield of Thranduil’s hand. Thranduil planted his hand back over the mouth that had escaped him and froze, as did Legolas. The elder blonde watched as his son’s eyes drifted to the bump he was laying on.

“UHM, am I interrupting something?” he exclaimed, eyebrows high.

“No, no! It’s nothing!” Thranduil said, his face growing as red as his son’s. A grunt (the cause of which may look very different from Legolas’ perspective) rasped up his throat as Bard bit down on Thranduil’s hand through the blanket. _Hard_.

“OHMYGODI’MLEAVING.” Legolas spat out. He covered his eyes and quickly shuffled out of the room, shutting the door behind him. Thranduil heaved a giant exhale; his son may have thought he walked in on some kind of private scene, but at least he was gone for the moment, giving Thranduil the chance to smack Bard on the head.

“OW!” Bard whined and Thranduil tore the comforter back to glare at the brunette.

“ _Ow?_ You _bit_ me!”

“You trapped me and you wouldn’t let me talk! It’s hard to breath under a blanket, especially when someone has a hand on your face, you know! You said we’d tell him!”

“Not like this, both of us stripped half nude in my bed! He would think that we’re…we…that we were...”

“Having sex?”

“Yes. _That_.”

“But we weren’t. Why is it a big deal if we were or we weren’t?”

“B-Because you’re _not human!_ Humans doing _those kinds_ of things with things that aren’t humans isn’t a good thing.”

“When I first saw you, I thought you were more articulate and sophisticated.” Bard laughed, but he wasn’t laughing anymore as Thranduil threw the blanket back over his head and rose from the bed. “Hey, cut that out!” he cried, swiping at the trap until he finally clawed his way out. “I _am_ human, kind of!”

“‘ _Kind of’_ doesn’t count, and it doesn’t matter anyway.” Thranduil spoke from the drawer as he extracted clean underdressings.

“Why doesn’t it matter?” Bard retorted, watching the blonde pointedly as he crossed the room to the closet.

“Because nothing like that is ever going to happen between us, now drop it.”

“How come?”

“I don’t need to give an explanation.”

“Is it because I’m not cute?”

Thranduil cringed before flicking through his hanging dress shirts and sweaters and swallowed at the thought of how cute or not cute he thought the brunette was.

“Well?”

“Well, what?” Thranduil shot back in a low tone, his teeth starting to grind. He wasn’t ready for such interrogation after just waking.

“Is it because I’m not cute?”

“No.”

“I’m not?!”

“No! I mean, that’s not what I said!” Thranduil replied and heaved a large sigh as he laid his eyes on the man and realized just how mangy Bard looked in disheveled, oversized clothing and a mess that could hardly be called hair on his head. “You need a shower.”

“Come with me.”

Well, he _did_ need to shower…

“No.” Thranduil said decisively. Absolutely _no_.

“You won’t have sex with me, you won’t shower with me. Sheesh.”

“I let you sleep in the damn bed. Isn’t that enough?”

“I guess I’ll just find another human to have sex with. I never have before and I want to before I can’t. It’s actually very important to me.”

“That’s great. Ask someone else.” Thranduil scoffed and started out the door. He didn’t care how genuine Bard sounded. The blonde refused to be a check mark off of Bard’s list of things to do – not like he needed _that_ as a reason not to.

“You’re leaving me?”

Thranduil stopped with his hand tightly gripping the knob, attempting to suppress his seething. Legolas had never given him much trouble as a young child and Thranduil thanked his lucky stars every day for it. The stars were laughing at him now.

“I am going to prepare a shower for myself which I will be taking _alone_ so I can get my wits about me before telling Legolas his cat is a cursed human. Let me have a moment of peace.”

“No, I don’t mean right now…Legolas said you were going out with someone.”

“I have plans, yes. I told you last night that I’d be busy today.”

“But what about me?” Bard asked, his voice small and meek as he fidgeted his fingers and gave a sincerely sad frown. Pitiful. Thranduil almost felt bad…no, he _did_ feel bad. How annoying.

“Legolas will be here and when he finds out I’m sure he won’t even consider stepping outside the house.” Such a thing was true and Thranduil couldn’t stand it. “But there will be no funny business going on here between you two while I’m away. Just let me get myself together before telling him. Can you just let me do that much?”

“But I’ll miss you if you leave, and you said I could brush your hair last night.” The brunette persisted. He sprung from the bed in a hurry and dashed to Thranduil’s side. He clung to his arm and rubbed his head on it lovingly. He purred hesitantly. “Please don’t leave. Just stay here.”

“You can brush my hair before I leave, if you want.” Thranduil offered and pat Bard’s head awkwardly, his hand flinching as his ears twitched and tickled his skin.

“You’re _really_ going to leave me?” Bard snapped and Thranduil’s eyes widened as the man in his pajamas abruptly moved away from him, crossed his arms, and gave him a sharp glare.

“I’ll be back.”

“Who is so important, hm?” he pressed.

“Stay here and wait quietly until I am finished.”

Thranduil took his opportunity of freedom away from Bard’s physical clinginess to step out with his clothes and shut the door behind him. He heard Bard mumbling something angrily to himself, but ignored it as he made his way to the bathroom and turned on the shower to drown out all the insanity. The relief of the cool water and a fresh outfit did not last long, for when he was finished dressing, taking care of his teeth, and applying fragrance (he would save the hair brushing for Bard to avoid any more stress), he found his room empty.

“Legolas?” he called out into the corridor, but there was no response.

His immediate reaction was to go running down the stairs. He rushed for his son, the only thing he ever rushed for, with very little grace. He jumped to the bottom step once he was close enough without faltering in his balance too much, and then swung around the bannister and stormed down the hall. The blood coursing through him felt like it could be on fire, rapidly pacing through him as his heart banged against his chest in a mix of fury and anxiety.

Bard had surely not listened to him, _again_ , and revealed himself. If he could not follow simple instruction, how was Thranduil supposed to trust him? This man was becoming a serious nuisance and Thranduil had half a mind to throw him out to fend for himself on the street, or wait until he turned back into a cat when he was most helpless and bring him to a shelter. He could be someone else’s problem…if he hadn’t charmed Legolas too much, that is.

No. This was _it_. He had to draw the line this time, no matter what his son may say or do. It was more than reasonable for Thranduil to put his foot down here. It was for Legolas’ own good, for the good of their future and their steady life. Thranduil would drag Bard out if he had to.

He could hear voices as he neared the kitchen, but Thranduil’s heavy steps full of anger were very noticeable, and so the voices fell silent. Thranduil swept into the room with heat radiating all around him and there they sat, Bard and Legolas, at the kitchen table.

Legolas’ eyes were wide, never seeing his father in such a state often, but Bard looked utterly composed which only fed the flames of Thranduil’s rage.

“This ends now.” He spoke quietly, but the sharpness of his tone was deadly.

Legolas stood slowly and tried a smile.

“But we were just going to have breakfast. Aren’t you hungry? I’ll make your favorite – I’ll even clean the dishes after!”

“You never listen, do you?” Thranduil snapped toward Bard and the man shrugged.

“I just figured I’d save you the time and complication of explaining it yourself. He’s fine with it, see?” Bard scurried over to where Legolas sat, knelt down and then laid his head on the young blonde’s leg. He simply smiled at Thranduil as he nuzzled his head into Legolas’ lap. Legolas pat his head and scratched him behind the ear, looking at his father with sparkling eyes and an innocent expression.

“You’re enabling him.” Thranduil said flatly and Legolas laughed.

“Well, he _is_ part cat.”

“When he is in cat form he is a cat. When he is in human form he is a human. You do not pet humans and let them nuzzle their heads into your lap.”

“He’s just friendly, dad. He’s harmless. I’m not bothered by it, I actually welcome it. This sort of thing is quite amazing, when you think about it! Of all the people he could have ended up with, he ended up with us!”

“It was fate, Legolas!” Bard said, popping his head up and lighting up his whole face with his smile. “I’d been waiting for you two and then you came! You came for me and now my life can finally go back to normal!”

“How much did you tell him, _exactly?_ ” Thranduil prodded, interrupting the all too giddy moment.

“He knows about as much as you do.” Bard answered.

“Dad, we have to help him!” Legolas said and the two both turned their eyes on the tall, grumpy man while batting their eyelashes. Legolas grabbed Bard’s face. “Come on, he’s so cute even like this!”

“ _We_ don’t have to do anything.” Thranduil retorted and Bard jumped to his feet, zooming straight into Thranduil’s space and the blonde man did all he could to stand his ground and not stumble back like some coward. He would never even have to think about such a thing if it were anyone but Bard!

“You said you’d help me – to the end, _you said!_ ” the brunette rasped.

“I remember, calm down.” Thranduil said pushing Bard back slightly to have more breathing room. “But Legolas did not and _will_ _not_ agree to anything.” He went on, shooting a sharp look at his son.

“But why? I’m old enough to make my own contracts.” Legolas challenged with a raise of his brow.

“I know that I often let you have your way; I accept that, but this is something I cannot bend on. Let this be the end of it.”

“Alright.” Legolas agreed simply with a shrug of his shoulders. Thranduil narrowed his eyes a bit suspiciously, but then nodded.

“…Alright. Good.”

“But I did say I would take care of my cat, so while you’re away I’ll watch after him.”

“Someone has to.” Bard said with a shrug and an absolutely smug expression. Thranduil reasoned that Bard shouldn’t feel so proud because he didn’t exactly win anything – it was obvious that he couldn’t be left alone and what did he expect Thranduil to do? Drop his entire life to stay home with him constantly? No, Legolas wasn’t a reward…not a punishment either. More like a restriction, even though Thranduil still wasn’t keen on his son being the one to babysit this…this Bard.

“You cannot take him out.” Thranduil spoke and Bard tilted his head with an offended expression.

“But we-!”

“Okay, dad.” Legolas agreed, cutting Bard off and the cat-man gave a pout of his lips and shifted his weight, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Once you get me back to freedom, I will be overjoyed to be free of your rules.”

He sashayed out of the room, arms still crossed to match the slight sass painted in his features. Thranduil watched as the brunette’s hips swayed in an all too flattering and natural manner; oh how cruel it all was. His tail poking out from his bottoms and swaying made it all the worse. The elder blonde was unsure of whether he felt absolutely sick for being attracted to such a peculiar creature, annoyed because he was so goddamn irritating, or if the light feeling he would get from knowing such a being existed made up for everything else. In any case, he was now admitting to himself that he found Bard attractive which certainly was not a step in the right direction. As long as it went no farther than just an attraction in his head he would be fine. Yes, he would be _just fine._

Legolas cleared his throat unnecessarily loud, causing Thranduil to turn in alarm. Naturally, something so odd worried him at first, but then his brows settled when he merely saw a smirk curving his son’s lips.

“It seems you like the new pet more than I do, dad.”

“I don’t appreciate your implications. Don’t try to deny it, either. Your face says it all.”

“So does yours.” Legolas combatted in a sing-song voice.

“Legolas, I know you’re young, but you cannot possibly be so naïve as not to see this is a serious situation.”

“On some level, yeah, of course.” The young blonde agreed with an enthusiastic nod and picked an apple from the bowl in front of him. He rubbed it off on his shirt to give it a little shine and tossed it back and forth from hand to hand before finally taking a bite and noticing his father’s unamused gaze. “Dad, _don’t worry_ so much. He’s a half human, half cat who was in the wrong place at the wrong time and got cursed by a dragon. It could be worse.”

“Half human, half cat who was in the wrong place at the wrong time and got cursed by a dragon, a curse which I apparently have to break, _and_ he also has cat-human children that I now have to somehow locate. And what happens after that?”

“I can help, you know.”

“No.”

Legolas gave a simple shrug and stood, making his way over to the refrigerator.

“I was thinking about French toast. Do you want some, or something else?”

“I commend you for handling all of this so easily, but it’s also very disturbing.” Thranduil said and started rubbing his fingertips into his temples.

“It’s because inside I’m just still a kid at heart and it’s actually easy and a bit relieving to know that these kinds of things exist. Bard is a good guy, from what I can tell, so who’s to say there aren’t other good, magical things out there?”

“You’re a breath of fresh air.” Thranduil said, unable to contain the smile that formed at hearing his son speak. It was relieving to know that his son had a brighter outlook on the world than he did and that he wasn’t so easily stressed. Oh, to be young and carefree. Thranduil wasn’t so old yet and he was fairly relaxed...inside of his own bubble, anyway. He was most content in his secluded home tucked away in the bounds of cozy forestry with his son and whatever kindly wildlife came through. It seemed like the perfect beautiful picture, but every time Legolas left the house it became less beautiful. One day he would leave for the final time and Thranduil would have to come to terms with how lonely and hermit-like he really was. Perhaps once he was left alone ad retired, he would simply never leave home and have only Legolas’ visits with his future family to look forward to.

No one that knew the man in the public world would ever suspect such a thing: Thranduil, who wore fine clothes that suited him just as his skin did, and Thranduil the assertive and massively successful businessman, a _shut in?_ No way, most would say. Others would question why or what happened to make him so, but the truth was nothing happened at all. Thranduil had always been that way. An oddball. An introvert driven into a fast paced career by the sheer love of his family and his unstoppable desire to give them everything.

“Dad?” rose Legolas’ voice, drawing Thranduil’s attention back to his son standing before the open fridge. “You alright?” the youth questioned with a tilt of his head.

“Yes, fine. Just still wrapped up in this…mess, whatever you’ll call it. There’s still much that has to be figured out.” The elder blonde dismissed with a wave of his hand. It wasn’t a lie, really.

“How about breakfast to take your mind off it for a bit? I’ll make some for everyone.”

“I’ll pass, but thank you.”

And with that, Thranduil stood from the table and went up to his room, which was thankfully unoccupied.

 

Upon returning to his bedroom, Thranduil sat on his bed not knowing what to do for a time. Unorganized thoughts kept streaming through his head and he didn’t have the patience or the will to catch even one of them and attempt to sort it out. He felt compelled to sift through old photo albums, but instead let them collect more dust and began going through work related emails on his phone. Even as he read through them, he felt he hardly absorbed any of the content.

He should take the time to go back to the pet store, Bard in tow, and pump the old clerk Gandalf for information, he thought, despite his deep urge to ignore the situation all together.

He wasn’t one that had many health problems in his life, but ever since strange things started happening to him, he felt more and more like he would have a heart attack from the mere absurdity of it all. He wasn’t designed to handle this level of stress, and that was really saying something since he’d lost his wife and he was the leader of a prestigious company. Somehow, he had managed all of it and survived… _but this_ … _this_ was a whole new level of insanity.

In retrospect, saying such a thing seemed nonsensical, but Bard just wasn’t natural. He was something that no one else could understand or assist him with. No one, except perhaps Gandalf, but even he wasn’t now being deemed “the one” and being forced to go on some quest to find Bard’s children.

A knock on the door.

Thranduil gave no words of admittance before the door swung open and Bard leaned in with a plate in his hands. The blonde rolled his eyes and gave a sigh far more annoyed than necessary.

“Breakfast for grumpy!” Bard announced and took a few quick steps toward the bed, presenting the plate of food to Thranduil. Thranduil simply looked back at his phone and scrolled further through his inbox.

“I told Legolas I’d pass.”

“It was really good, even better than the pancakes from the diner last night! Legolas said he’ll make me homemade pancakes sometime and really show up that dinner. Did you teach him to cook?”

“No.”

“If you don’t eat this, I’ll just finish it.”

“Go ahead.”

“What’s with the bad mood? Not a morning person?”

“It’s not morning.”

“Legolas is going to let me wear some of his clothes. I’m going to shower.”

 _“I don’t care._ ” he wanted to say, but he simply didn’t say anything, because secretly he did care a little. Damn cat hair in the shower drain could be a problem.

 “Will you still be here when I’m finished?”

“I may just slip out early.”

“I’ll brush your hair now then, since you promised me I could.”

“I don’t remember using the word _promise_.”

“Here, take this!”

Bard shoved the breakfast plate into Thranduil’s lap and sprung off the bed and out of the room alarmingly fast. He returned with a hairbrush from the bathroom so quickly that it was almost like he hadn’t left the room at all, merely teleported away and back in the blink of an eye.

“You’re in a better mood.” Thranduil muttered as Bard shoved himself between the pillows Thranduil sat against and his back. The blonde grumbled and scooted forward.

“Food is a good cheer up, especially when you don’t have it often – and when its _good_ food, you can bet I’ll be in a better mood no matter what!.” Bard chimed, content as ever.

His moods were horribly shifty.

Thranduil wondered if Legolas would be able to handle him alright on his own, but that worry was swiftly wiped away; Thranduil had a feeling Bard gave him a hard time just because and he would probably be a complete angel for Legolas. The little twerp.

The blonde was anticipating flinching when Bard set the brush to his hair, but he was pleasantly surprised by the brunette’s gentility. Bard hummed as he brushed through one swath of hair after another thoroughly. He would pause from time to time, lifting a smooth plait of bright locks and lifting it to his nose to smell. Thranduil noticed, but chose to leave quiet between them for a change. Having his hair brushed was oddly relaxing, so why bother getting riled up over something as simple as Bard sniffing his tresses? It wasn’t so unusual, anyway, seeing as Bard was…not usual. Not by a long shot.

As Bard went on, he started running his fingers through the ribbon of hair he’d just brushed. Thranduil jumped as sharp nails grazed his scalp and Bard jerked away, taking a few strands of Thranduil’s beautiful hair caught around his fingers with him.

“AH!” Thranduil shrieked, trying to pull away with the plate teetering in his lap, but he was still attached to Bard. “What are you doing?! Fix it, it hurts, dammit!”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry! Stop moving!”

The blonde listened, sitting still impatiently as Bard tripped over his own apologies while diligently freeing every last pale strand of hair.

“You need to get those nails trimmed.” Thranduil groaned harshly and rubbed the sore spot on his head.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you.” Bard said meekly.

“You didn’t, until you ripped your hand back like that. Do I have a knot now?”

Bard fumbled to leap from the bed and scurried away. Thranduil blinked, rolled his eyes with a shake of his head, and then brushed through the ends of his hair himself to smooth any tangles.

What was his problem?

It looked like he'd be having breakfast after all.

**Author's Note:**

> This one was a bit slow, but next chapter is already rolling and will be full of more exciting things: we'll see Gandalf again, find out more about Bard, and have more Bard hijinx!


End file.
